Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
