Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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