is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
