she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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