sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize