Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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