): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
soo... how was my night?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
