There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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