Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
