too bad you live with your parents still
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize