I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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