Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize