Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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