I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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