She went from zero to smokin in five shots
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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