I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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