Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize