what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
