Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
