how can u be prego again
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
