That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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