I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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