You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
