whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
