So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
