You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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