In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
