phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
