i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Farmville is her only friend.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
