I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
there is glitter all over my balls
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