I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
