I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize