we have officially lost it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
