I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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