"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
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he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize