I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
