I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
