Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
