We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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