dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
