its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
