I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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