If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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