since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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