you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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