he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize