Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
