Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize