Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
