You can't motorboat a personality
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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