my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
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You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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