just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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