there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize