another moral hangover. fuck.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
