So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
