yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
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The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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