So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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