I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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