No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
